How many Emerging Church Bloggers Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

1 To change the bulb and post about it

315 To lurk around and make no comment

2 To propose that a flashing coloured bulb would be more in keeping with the culture of the day

16 To complain he should have have put it in a different category

4 To flag up a conference on nu-media emerging bulb ministries “The LED Shines in the 80% Greyscale-ness” in Ukraine.

19 To point out that if the poster had bought an iBulb then he wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.

4 To point out that it’s ‘Lightbulb’, not ‘Light Bulb’

7 To have go at those 4 for being so pathetic.

2 To come back and say they’ve had to pull out of the Ukraine conference, and the other 2 to post some blurred photos of a bunch of guys drinking beer in a dark room, Apple logos just visible in the shadows. Plus an inaudible podcast of the session they did.

5 To complain that the poster’s definition of ‘broken’ was just liberal nonsense in the first place, and if they had only stuck to the One True Light, which is perfectly clearly explained in the Gospels then all talk of change would be irrelevant.

34 To retort that all talk of ‘light’ and ‘dark’ is just relative, and purely down to the culture, context and personal experience.

15 Fundies to rock in suggesting that the bulb was never broken, but rather the power had been switched off as punishment for their straying from the one true source.

2 Aging alt.worshippers to suggest they used tea-lights instead.

6 Members of the prayer book society who suggest that any talk of alternative bulbs is the work of the devil.

18 To weigh in with quotes from Derrida, Baumann and McLuhan and discuss the essential duality of light.

1 To raise the point that Jesus didn’t need ‘artificial light’ and then go on to refute all physics suggesting light displays dualistic properties.

3 To complain of the lack of ethnic women changing light bulbs these days.

5 To raise the issue of ‘wireless bulbs’ that need no power source and can be used in Scooter Cafe.

2 To reflect on this as a model for mission, taking our wireless bulbs out into the dark world.

4 To continue this theme, but argue that the bulbs aren’t really wireless, but part of a complex, distributed network of light sources of many different sorts, which interact in loose communal ways and that’s what we call church now.

18 To claim that the original bulb was divinely inspired during the manufacture process in the 80’s and gives the only divinely inspired modern light source.  Any new bulb is a travesty and anyone using the new bulb is jeopardising their salvation.  It is irrelevant that people have been using the new bulb as part of their ongoing faith journey.

1 To write a huge long, rambling diatribe about the issue of light, how they suffered light deprivation as a child and are now trying to work this out in a small group in Andover, and completely kill the discussion, just leaving…

15 Online pharmacies, porn sites and penny-share stock companies to leave Trackbacks.


10 Responses

  1. their spouse does it

  2. This is brilliant.

  3. Thanks 😀

  4. hmm, the emergents are no different then from the old Baptist chreuch I grew up in! I KNEW IT!

  5. I can’t even imagine how much thought this must have taken, haha. You sure know the game 🙂

  6. 315 To lurk around and make no comment
    Yes, this is true.

  7. 6 Members of the prayer book society who suggest that any talk of alternative bulbs is the work of the devil.

    hmmm…….Why do they always want to blame the devil 1st ?

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